Who I am Hates Who I've Been
by michellepittmanblack
Summary: Canon up until the torture scene in DH. My first dramione attempt so please read -- and Who I Am Hates Who I've Been is one of my favorite Relient K songs...
1. Chapter 1

**"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"**

I'm sorry for the person I became.  
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.  
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again  
'cause who I am hates who I've been.  
Who I am hates who I've been.

I.

Draco Malfoy stared in horror as his aunt Bellatrix screamed, "Crucio you little mudblood! Crucio!" Hermione screamed out in pain. "I am NOT playing with you mudblood…I will cut you from ear-to-ear! NOW TELL ME THE TRUTH…WHERE DID YOU GET THAT SWORD?" Draco could only watch as his former schoolmate dropped to the ground screaming in agony while tears poured down her cheeks. "I swear, it's fake, we just found it…please…" Hermione's pleas changed to screams as she was hit with a fresh wave of agony while Bellatrix hit her with another curse. Draco felt the bile rise in his stomach as he turned away, no longer able to watch the torture of the brightest witch of his year. Guess those 10 OWLs were really helpful to her, he thought…a weak laugh escaped his lips at the ridiculous thought…as if OWLs mattered for anything anymore, whether the Dark Lord won or was vanquished by the bloody boy who lives…who in their right mind would give two flying sickles how many OWLs you managed to get during a bloody war. He slowly turned as Bellatrix shouted, "Draco!" As he turned to face his deranged aunt, his steel gray eyes met a pair of red-rimmed brown eyes…and a decision was made that would alter his life forever. "Forgive me mother."

Hermione felt the hot tears streaming down her cheeks; she had never felt pain like this in her entire life. She collapsed to the ground, unable to stand any longer; Hermione felt herself growing weaker and could dimly hear Ron screaming her name. She fell to the ground and hit the cold marble floor, Hermione numbly watched the floor beneath her puddle with blood. As if crucio wasn't enough, it appeared Bellatrix had made good on her threat of using her dagger. Hermione weakly turned her head as she heard her torturer scream for her former classmate…was this really how it was going to end? Her brown eyes met his steel gray eyes…was that _fear_ she saw? She closed her eyes and bowed her head…when suddenly a cold hand grabbed her own and a feeling of darkness and suffocation closed upon her.

II.

"Granger…Granger…GRANGER! Get up! You have to get up NOW!" Hermione opened her eyes and blearily looked around. Malfoy was on his knees and shaking her, his normally sleek blond hair was in disarray and his eyes were wide and panicky. She looked around at their surroundings; they were surrounded by trees with ominous looking ivy hanging from them. "Granger, snap out of it! I know you're in pain and you hurt but you HAVE to do something or THEY WILL BE ABLE TO FIND US! I have the Dark Mark, they'll track me and my protections won't hold up against them." Hermione weakly rose to her feet and limped in a large circle around Malfoy, muttering spells and casting protective charms around them. She slowly made her way back towards Malfoy…her steps faltered and she began falling to the ground. Malfoy jumped forward, caught her by her arm and lead her back to the center of the clearing. Hermione instantly dropped to the ground, curled into herself, and with tears still trickling from her eyes, passed out from the pain and sheer exhaustion. Malfoy sank to the ground and sat indian-style beside the sleeping witch and buried his face in his hands. 'What have I done? What is he going to do to my parents? My father is going to…' and for the first time since that horrible night his sixth year, Draco bowed his head to his knees and cried.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm sorry I've taken so long to update this. Amazingly long bout of writer's block. **

**Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling and I don't own any of the characters…if I were JK, I would be sitting on a beach sipping margaritas somewhere writing HP – The Next Generation…or just sitting on the beach sipping margaritas.**

**"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"**

_I watched the proverbial sunrise  
Coming up over the Pacific and  
You might think I'm losing my mind,  
But I will shy away from the specifics...  
'cause I don't want you to know where I am  
'cause then you'll see my heart  
In the saddest state it's ever been._

_This is no place to try and live my life._

Hermione slowly sat up and blinked her eyes. She tiredly rubbed her eyes and took in her surroundings. She was surrounded by silence and trees; there seemed to be little light seeping through the thick underbrush of the massive tree trunks and she could not discern whether it was early morning or twilight. Her body ached all over…even her bloody _hair_ was aching. A loud sniffling from behind her made her jump to her feet and reach for her wand. "Calm down Granger, if I wanted you dead I wouldn't have bothered saving you from my aunt." Hermione stared at Malfoy; he was sitting on the forest floor and looked distinctly disheveled. His blond hair hung around his dirty tear splotched face. The forlorn look on Malfoy's face sent panic through her body, "What happened? I was…Bellatrix…Harry, Ron, where are they? What happened to them? Where are we?" "I have no idea where they are Granger…I was rather preoccupied at the time…you know…getting you the hell away from my aunt before she cut you worse than she already did. To answer where we're at…I _think_ we're somewhere in Bagot's Wood…I didn't know where else to go and it was the first place that came to mind." Hermione gaped at him, "Bagot's Wood, as in Bagot's Wood near Abbots Bromley? The largest remaining part of Needwood Forest? How on earth do you even know about Bagot's Wood? It's a muggle forest preservation…" Malfoy stared back, "Well, I'm going to presume _you're_ feeling better…and it's not like I was always a Death Eater wannabe…if you must know, I saw a picture of this place on a muggle picture card thing my aunt Andromeda sent to mother once…and as you pointed out, it's a _muggle_ forest so I doubt any Death Eaters know anything about it or would guess I'd come here."

Hermione stood up and began to pace in a large circle talking to herself, "Poor Ron and Harry…they must be so worried…did they get out? They had to of gotten out…but where did they…I…I just can't think about them right now…a plan…that's what we need, a plan…where can we go?" Draco gave her a hard look, "No, what we're going to do is sit here and rest for awhile…then we're going to try to find something to eat…and then we're going to try to come up with a plan…in case you've forgotten, you just got crucioed and I just turned my back on my entire family…who's most likely going to be tortured at the least and killed at the worst for my little fit of conscience…we…_I _need some time…please…Granger…can't we just sit here for a little bit…I swear to you…you'll be back on the run with Death Eaters hot on your tail in no time at all…but for now…I just want to _sit_." Hermione looked into his woebegone face and her determined expression softened, "Why'd you do it Malfoy? You've spent the last six and a half years of my life doing your best to make my life miserable and make me feel inferior…why did you throw your life away to save mine…a mere mudblood?"

Draco looked up into her warm brown eyes and then lowered his head and closed his eyes. "I don't know why…I just did."

**Reviews, criticisms, and ideas are welcome! **


End file.
